Who Is Lauren Tetenbaum—and Why Is She Talking to Us?
Lauren is not just a therapist who tacked on “perimenopause” to her bio because it’s trendy.
She’s:
A licensed clinical social worker and former attorney
A certified perinatal mental health professional
A Fair Play Institute trainer
A long-time women’s rights advocate, supporting survivors of domestic violence, overwhelmed moms, and women in major life transitions
Now, she works with women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who are navigating:
Motherhood and identity shifts
Career pressure and burnout
Reproductive health changes
The perimenopause/menopause transition
And she wrote Millennial Menopause because she kept hearing the same story from older women:
“No one warned me.”
“I had no idea perimenopause could start in your late 30s or early 40s.”
“I didn’t know where to turn.”
Sound familiar?
Why Millennial Perimenopause Feels So… Extra
Every generation thinks they were the “fun” one, but millennials really did come of age in a unique pressure cooker.
We are:
The AIM and Nokia kids who now run on Slack, Zoom, and Instagram
The Spice Girls and boy band era that now listens to 90s playlists while unloading the dishwasher
The “work hard, play hard” class who learned to climb ladders, sacrifice sleep, and hustle ourselves into the ground
And now?
We’re:
Parenting young kids
Supporting aging parents
Trying to keep up at work
Quietly noticing our skin, hair, cycles, and moods changing
Lauren calls us the “sandwich generation on steroids.” We’re squeezed from both sides, and then someone whispers, “By the way, your hormones are changing too.”
No wonder we’re nostalgic. No wonder we’re tired. No wonder we’re like: Why do I suddenly feel like a stranger in my own body?
Are We In Perimenopause Earlier—Or Just Finally Talking About It?
One of my big questions for Lauren:
“Are we actually starting perimenopause earlier… or are we just talking about it more?”
Her answer: It’s mostly that we’re finally using the word.
The term “perimenopause” has been around since the 1960s and more commonly used in medical literature since the 1980s. But most of us never heard it growing up. I didn’t hear it until 2024.
Lauren shared that the Menopause Society actually encourages providers to start talking to women 35+ about perimenopause—just to open the door and offer basic education.
She looked around at 40 and realized:
“No one has ever mentioned this to me.”
So it’s not that perimenopause showed up out of nowhere. It’s that no one bothered to bring us into the conversation.
The Label Isn’t the Point—Your Symptoms Are
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was Lauren’s take on the whole “Is this perimenopause or just… life?” debate.
She doesn’t get hung up on the label.
“The symptoms are more important than the label.”
You might be in perimenopause. You might not. The deeper question is:
What’s bothering you?
How does it feel different than your past “normal”?
What kind of support or treatment do you want?
For Lauren, she noticed her mood felt off when she stopped using hormonal birth control. It didn’t feel like her typical anxiety or depression. It felt new. She went back on the pill (which is a form of hormone therapy) and felt better.
Was that perimenopause? Hormonal withdrawal? Just being 40?
Does it matter, if you’ve ruled out other issues and found something that helps?
The key is self-awareness + support, not obsessively trying to win a diagnosis label on the internet.
Grieving Your Younger Self—Without Getting Stuck There
We also talked about grief.
I’ve been really honest with my audience about how hard turning 40 hit me. I felt the grief most at 39—this ache around aging, around “the glory days,” around realizing my body and face and energy are changing.
So I asked Lauren:
“How do you help women honor this mourning without wallowing in it?”
Her answer was such a relief.
It’s okay to mourn your younger self
It’s okay to feel sentimental about a phase that’s gone
The grief only becomes a problem when it consumes you
She encourages women to:
Honor that younger version of themselves
Remember: “It’s not over ‘til it’s over”
Shift into: What brings me joy now? What do I want to say no to? What do I want more of in this phase?
Midlife and aging can be hard. But they are also a privilege and a gift. And when we surround ourselves with vibrant women in their 50s and beyond, we stop fearing it and start thinking:
Oh. This can actually be really good.
The Rage, the “Who Even Am I?” Moments, and Why You’re Not Crazy
If you’ve ever snapped at your kids, stared at your partner, and thought:
“Who is this demon possessing my body right now?!”
You’re not alone.
Lauren hears this all the time in her clinical work:
Women who don’t recognize themselves
Sudden surges of rage or irritability
A sense of, “This isn’t my usual anxiety or depression—this feels… different”
Those hormone fluctuations are real. They’re not “all in your head.” And they can absolutely show up as:
Mood swings
Heightened anxiety
Low mood
Irritability
Feeling like you’ve lost your coping buffer
Up to 70% of women in perimenopause experience mood-related changes. You’re not being dramatic. You’re being human.
This is where it helps to have someone like Lauren in your corner—someone who:
Knows the biology
Understands the emotional landscape
Can help you advocate with doctors who might not be up to speed
The Millennial Overwhelm Problem: “I Have Zero Time”
Let’s talk about overwhelm.
Most of the women listening to this show (and reading this blog) are not lounging around wondering what to do with their day. They’re:
Working (in or out of the home)
Raising kids
Managing invisible labor
Supporting partners
Caring for aging parents
Trying to remember the last time they peed alone
I shared a recent moment from my own life: coming home after a long day out with the kids, realizing the dog hadn’t been walked, dinner hadn’t been started, and I was completely touched out. My husband asked, “Are you okay?” and instead of saying “I’m fine,” I finally said:
“I’m not great. I’m going to need some time, but I’ll be great once I get it.”
He took one kid to Home Depot, the other hung out with my mom, and I got 30 minutes alone.
It was medicine.
And it was free.
Lauren and I both agree: we’re living in a culture that does not support women or mothers. So if you feel like you have zero time, that’s not a personal failure. That’s a systems problem.
But we do have small pockets of power:
Saying out loud: “I’m not okay right now.”
Asking: “What do I need right now?” (Quiet? A walk? A shower? Actual food?)
Demanding support from the people who share our lives
Blocking time in our calendars for our own needs, not just everyone else’s
You’re not selfish for doing this. You’re functional. You can’t pour from an empty nervous system.
Lifestyle Medicine and Real Medicine: Both Are Allowed
I love how Lauren talks about support as “both/and,” not either/or.
Lifestyle foundations she recommends:
Sleep as a non-negotiable
Nourishing food (supplements are great, but they don’t replace actual meals)
Strength training, especially for bone health and longevity
Stress reduction tools (therapy, meditation, rituals, walks, breathwork)
Social connection and community
And then there’s medical support, which we do not need to feel ashamed about:
Hormone therapy (estrogen + progesterone, in various forms) for appropriate candidates
Non-hormonal medications that can help with specific symptoms like hot flashes
SSRIs/SNRIs for mood support, when appropriate
Combination approaches based on your history and needs
The hardest part? Trial and error.
We’re tired, we want a one-click fix, and perimenopause is… not that.
But that doesn’t mean help isn’t available. It just means we need:
Providers who are actually educated about menopause
The confidence to say, “This isn’t working for me—what else can we try?”
The courage to trust our own experience
Perimenopause as a Giant Permission Slip
One of my favorite reframes from our conversation:
Perimenopause is a giant permission slip to stop pushing past your last drop and start listening to your body.
I shared the moment recently when my body was practically screaming at me to lie down. I had a small window between school pickup and the next thing. My old self would’ve pushed through with chores or work.
Instead, I took a 20-minute nap.
I woke up a different person.
No guilt. Just relief.
Lauren celebrated that choice, because rest is not a moral failure. It’s not laziness. It’s medicine.
And as we age, our bodies get louder about what they need. We can fight that… or we can start treating those signals as sacred information.
The Conversations We’re Still Not Having
We ended our conversation talking about all the places this topic needs to go:
With our friends, beyond the “kid talk” and weather reports
With women older than us, who’ve already walked this road
With younger women, so they’re not blindsided
With our partners, so they understand what’s happening and how to support us
With our kids, so puberty and menopause aren’t scary secrets
Lauren talks openly to her kids about being tired, needing quiet, and going through hormonal changes—not in a scary way, but in a “this is just part of being human” way.
We can change the story for the next generation simply by refusing to treat menopause as something shameful and invisible.
Where to Find Lauren (and Her Pink Book)
If you’re reading this and thinking, I need more of her in my life, here’s where to go:
Book: Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life’s Next Period – available wherever books are sold
Website: millennialmenopause.com (book tour dates, services, resources)
Instagram: @thecounselorlaur
If you’re in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, or Florida, she may even be able to work with you directly as a therapist.
Listen to the Full Episode & Take Your Next Step
This post barely scratches the surface of everything we talked about—rage, identity, medical gaslighting, our nostalgia for the 90s, and why this “next phase” might be our greatest wake-up call.
🎧 Listen to the full episode with Lauren Tetenbaum on The Next Phase Podcast
(Search “The Next Phase Podcast” in your favorite app and look for the Millennial Menopause episode.)
And if you’re ready to start supporting your body through this phase instead of fighting it, grab my free guide:
👉 [Download the Cycle-Syncing Food & Energy Map for Millennial Moms]
Because this era isn’t just something we have to “get through.”
It’s our invitation to finally live in a way that works with our bodies, our energy, and our actual lives—not just the version we think we should be able to handle.
What Diane Keaton Taught Me About Turning 40
I’m turning 40 on Sunday.
And in a lot of ways, I’ve been treating these last few days the same way I treated my last days before becoming a mom for the first time — like an ending. Like a chapter of my life that’s about to close for good.
That may sound dramatic. Maybe it is. But it feels true.
I created The Next Phase podcast to celebrate this season — the messy, powerful, beautiful transition into midlife. But celebrating doesn’t mean it’s not complicated. Aging comes with a kind of mourning — for who we were, for what we thought life would look like, for all that early energy and possibility.
When I think of my 20s and 30s, I think: youth, excitement, beginnings.
When I think of my 40s and 50s, if I’m honest? I think: hormones, bills, back pain, earlier bedtimes, and that try-hard “cougar energy” none of us want to admit we’re afraid of.
But more than anything, I think about one word: relevance.
Am I still going to be relevant?
Or am I slowly becoming invisible — buried under responsibilities, logistics, and the grind of everyday life?
That’s the fear nobody really talks about. Not wrinkles or gray hair — invisibility.
The Women We Grew Up Watching
In my 20s and 30s, I was the kind of person who could walk into a room and light it up. I’d talk to anyone, make a new best friend in line for the bathroom, dance until closing time.
Now? The only line I stand in is at Target. And there’s not a lot of room for “the party” anymore.
It’s easy to feel weighed down by all the doing, and somewhere in there, I realized what was missing: permission.
Permission to define my 40s in a way that feels like me.
And for you to define yours however the hell you want to.
So I started asking: Why do we associate our 40s with dread?
Sure, there are real things — aging parents, hormones, exhaustion. But there’s also cultural programming. Think about how we were taught to see women in their 40s.
She was Kevin’s stressed-out mom in Home Alone, always running, never resting.
She was Angelica’s mom in Rugrats — busy, detached, exhausted.
She was Roseanne Barr — the mom who’d stopped pretending everything was fine, but also stopped trying altogether.
And she was Leslie Mann in This Is 40 — spiraling about her birthday, denying her age, and wondering if everything good in her life had already happened.
These were the women we grew up watching — exhausted, overlooked, holding everything together for everyone else while losing themselves in the process.
And I can’t help but wonder:
Did we internalize that?
Did we decide, without even realizing it, that this is what middle age looks like — so this is who we’ll become?
Enter: Diane Keaton
Then something shifted.
It was 2003, and my mom and I went to see Something’s Gotta Give.
For the first time, I saw a woman in her fifties not as a punchline, not as a background mom, but as the main character.
Diane Keaton was everything I didn’t know I was craving: confident, magnetic, creative, and funny. She was sexy without trying. Powerful without being intimidating. And she had wrinkles.
She made getting older look alive.
Before her, we’d been taught that a woman’s desirability expired sometime in her 30s. But Diane flipped that script. She made aging look aspirational. She made vulnerability look like strength.
As many of you know, Diane Keaton passed away on October 11, 2025. And it hit me harder than I expected — because she represented something that transcended age: energy.
We all have it. Most of us just lose it — or stop protecting it — as we get older. She didn’t. And it showed.
Seven Things I’m Taking Into My 40s (Inspired by Diane Keaton)
1. Don’t Play It Cool
When Diane walks into a room, she commands it. Not because she’s conceited — in fact, she’s famously self-deprecating — but because she’s excited to be there.
She’s not playing it cool. She’s not holding back. She’s like a kid — over the moon to be part of the moment.
To show up with that kind of energy, you have to choose where to put it. You can’t be that excited about everything, or everyone. You have to protect your spark so when you show up, it’s real.
2. Be Weird
I’ve always been a little quirky. But it’s easy to hide that when you’re trying to fit in — as a mom, a business owner, a grown-up. Diane never apologized for being weird. She told Katie Couric that casting directors once called her “too kooky.”
She owned it anyway.
That’s what I want in my 40s — to stop sanding down my weird edges and let them shine.
3. Stop Rushing Everywhere
Diane Keaton moves through the world like she’s got all the time in it.
She pauses before she answers, she thinks before she speaks.
Meanwhile, I’m the queen of rushing — apparently even when I think I’m not. My daughter recently told me, “Mom, you still have that rushing energy.”
I don’t want that anymore. I want to stop living like the house is on fire.
4. Stop Apologizing for Who I Am
When Meryl Streep introduced Diane at her AFI Lifetime Achievement Award, she said,
“There’s nobody who stands more exposed, more undefended, and just willing to show herself inside and out than Diane.”
That’s how I want to live.
I want to make it easy for people to take me or leave me — because the ones who take me are my people.
5. Rewrite the Rules of Aging
Diane adopted her first child at fifty. Yes, she had Hollywood privilege, but still — she decided, why not now?
What am I not doing because I’ve decided it’s not “allowed” at 40?
Starting this podcast, maybe. Some people might call it cringe.
But that’s the whole point. We get to rewrite what forty, fifty, sixty are supposed to mean.
6. Please Yourself First
When Ellen DeGeneres once told her she’d be a great interior designer, Diane said, “No — because I like pleasing myself.”
It was funny, but also profound.
We’ve spent so many years pleasing everyone else. What if our 40s were for pleasing ourselves more — for creating lives that actually feel good to live?
7. Have a Huge Appetite for Life
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Diane said:
“I never understood the idea that you’re supposed to mellow as you get older. The goal is to continue. To feel the world. To explore. To take things far. To risk. To love.”
That’s it. That’s the energy I want for my 40s — to wake up hungry for life again.
The 40 Club
That’s my list.
Thank you, Diane Keaton, for giving me permission to enter my forties this way — for showing us how to age not just with grace, but with energy.
The next time I talk to you, I’ll officially be forty.
And I’m so happy you’re here at this turning point in my life.
I’ve been thinking we should start a club — The 40 Club.
And when you join, you get a party horn and a really fabulous hat — a Diane hat, obviously.
I’ll be celebrating with three of my best friends in North Carolina — renting a house, sitting in a hot tub, and talking for hours about life. We’ve known each other since seventh grade, and we’re all turning forty together.
I can’t think of a better way to step into this next phase.
Here’s to aging with energy.
Here’s to weirdness, curiosity, and staying awake to our own lives.
Until next time — I’ll see you in the next phase.
Explain Cycle Syncing to Me: A Beginner’s Guide for Millennial Moms in Perimenopause
If you’re a millennial mom who feels like her body is suddenly not cooperating anymore, you’re not alone.
The mood swings, the exhaustion that coffee can’t fix, the bloating, the “why do I feel like a different person every week?” thing—those aren’t random character flaws. They’re your hormones talking. And cycle syncing is one of the simplest ways to finally start listening.
In this post, I’m breaking down what cycle syncing is, how your four cycle phases actually feel in real life, and how to start working with your hormones instead of against them—especially as you enter perimenopause.
You can also listen to the full episode of The Next Phase Podcast: “Explain Cycle Syncing to Me” right here:
Explain Cycle Syncing To Me
What Is Cycle Syncing?
At its core, cycle syncing is the practice of aligning your food, fitness, work, and social life with the four phases of your menstrual cycle.
Yes, your period is more than 3–7 days of bleeding. Your whole cycle is like a built-in map of your body’s hormonal changes, and if you learn to read it, you’ll discover a different set of “superpowers” every week.
You’ve probably heard of the circadian rhythm—the 24-hour clock that governs sleep, wakefulness, and energy.
But women also have an infradian rhythm: roughly a 28-day cycle that includes changing hormones, energy, mood, cravings, and social bandwidth. Our healthcare, diet culture, and work culture are built around the 24-hour clock… not the 28-day one. That mismatch is a big reason so many of us feel burned out and “off.”
Cycle syncing is a way of saying:
“I’m done forcing myself to be the same person every day. I’m going to pay attention to what my body needs this week.”
Why High-Achieving Women Feel So Burned Out
If you grew up in the “work hard, play hard” era, you were probably praised for:
Getting straight A’s
Being the reliable overachiever
Crushing intense workouts
Eating “clean,” dieting, or trying every wellness trend
Saying yes to everything and everyone
From the outside, it looks healthy and impressive. But for many of us, that constant pushing has led to:
Hormonal imbalances
Chronic stress and anxiety
Emotional dysregulation
Total disconnection from what our bodies actually need
We were taught to override our signals:
Tired? Drink more coffee.
Craving something? Have a salad instead.
Moody or needing space? Push it down and show up anyway.
Cycle syncing flips that script. Those “annoying” symptoms—fatigue, cravings, emotions—aren’t inconveniences. They’re instructions.
Your Infradian Rhythm: The 4 Phases of Your Cycle
Think of your cycle as four seasons:
Menstrual – Winter
Follicular – Spring
Ovulatory – Summer
Luteal – Fall
Each phase has its own hormonal landscape, emotional tone, and best-fit activities.
A quick note: everyone’s cycle is different, and perimenopause can make phases shorter, longer, or less predictable. Think of this as a map, not a GPS.
Let’s walk through each phase.
Phase 1: Menstrual – Your Inner Winter (Days 1–5)
What’s happening hormonally:
Estrogen and progesterone drop, which brings on bleeding and a big dip in energy.
How it tends to feel:
Low energy, wanting to rest or be alone
Sleeping more or more deeply
Less social, more introspective
Extra sensitive or emotional
This is your inner winter—a time for hibernation, reflection, and quiet. It’s also when your left (analytical) brain and right (feeling) brain communicate best, which makes it a powerful time for intuition and big-picture clarity.
Great questions to journal on:
Am I in the right job or role?
Does our home actually feel good to us right now?
Am I doing too much? Where can I slow down?
What really matters to me in this phase of life?
Best Movement in Menstrual Phase
Your hormones and energy are at their lowest, so this is not the time to crush HIIT workouts.
Gentle options:
Walking
Restorative or gentle yoga
Pilates
Foam rolling
Breath work
Sleep (yes, count this as part of your “routine”)
If you’re asking, “Should I sleep in or force that workout?”—this is the time to sleep in. Supporting your body with rest now will actually help your hormones and energy later in the month.
Phase 2: Follicular – Your Spring (Approx. Days 6–13)
What’s happening hormonally:
Estrogen begins to rise. Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) selects which follicle will grow that month.
How it tends to feel:
Increasing energy, motivation, and creativity
Feeling playful and optimistic
More open to new ideas and trying new things
This is your fresh start energy—like the first warm day after winter when you’re ready to throw open the windows.
Best Movement in Follicular Phase
As energy climbs, your body responds better to more intense workouts.
Great options:
Light to moderate cardio
Running, biking, dancing, jump rope
Strength training (within reason)
You can boost your metabolism, build muscle, and feel energized if you respect your limits.
Important note:
Try to keep higher intensity workouts around 30 minutes. Longer sessions can spike cortisol and push you into stress mode, especially if you’re already prone to anxiety or burnout.
Phase 3: Ovulatory – Your Summer (Approx. Days 14–16)
What’s happening hormonally:
Estrogen and Luteinizing Hormone (LH) hit their peak, signaling your body to release an egg.
How it tends to feel:
High energy and confidence
More magnetic and outgoing
Strong verbal + social skills
“I feel like myself again” vibes
This is your summer phase—think rooftop parties, date nights, and feeling like the main character in your life.
Your verbal and social centers are lit up, making this a great time to:
Have important conversations
Pitch ideas
Record content
Go on dates or plan social events
Best Movement in Ovulatory Phase
This is your body’s peak performance window. If you love to push, this is when it’s most supportive to do so.
Great options:
HIIT (high-intensity intervals)
Group classes
Bootcamps
Spin / cycling
Kickboxing
You’ll usually feel more energized during and after these workouts—rather than totally wiped.
Phase 4: Luteal – Your Fall (Approx. Days 17–28)
What’s happening hormonally:
Progesterone rises after ovulation to support a possible pregnancy. If no pregnancy occurs, progesterone and estrogen drop, which triggers your period and can trigger PMS symptoms.
How it tends to feel:
Early luteal: focused, productive, “nesting” energy
Late luteal: more sensitive, easily overstimulated, lower patience
Bloating, cravings, or mood swings may show up
This is your fall phase—cozier, more inward, and very detail-oriented. It’s actually a fantastic time for:
Organizing, decluttering, and “nesting”
Wrapping up projects
Handling those life admin tasks you’ve been putting off
When your patience wears thin and you feel emotionally raw, it’s not a moral failing. It’s your body saying:
“Slow down. Please stop putting me in situations I don’t have the capacity for right now.”
Best Movement in Luteal Phase
Early luteal:
Strength training
Energizing yoga
Moderate cardio
Late luteal (PMS week):
Walking
Pilates or barre
Gentle yoga
Stretching
This is a great time to prioritize walks. They’re incredibly supportive for both mental health and hormone health—especially in our late 30s and 40s.
How to Start Cycle Syncing (Without Overwhelm)
You don’t have to overhaul your whole life overnight. The first step is simply awareness.
Step 1: Track Your Cycle
Mark the first day of your last period on your calendar.
Note which day of your cycle you’re on today.
Each day, jot down:
How is my energy?
What am I craving?
How is my mood?
Do I feel social or more inward?
You don’t need to change anything yet. Just notice.
Step 2: Experiment with Your Workouts
Try this simple experiment:
Take a HIIT class on day 1–2 of your period and pay attention to how you feel for the rest of the day.
Then take the same class during ovulation and compare.
Most women notice a huge difference in energy, recovery, and mood. That contrast is your body talking.
Step 3: Notice Your Social Capacity
During luteal “fall,” do you find yourself wanting to leave parties early?
Do you feel resentful when your calendar is packed right before your period?
Start giving yourself permission to say no and build more white space into that week.
Why This Can Feel Emotionally Hard (Especially for Ex-Overachievers)
If you grew up with diet culture, disordered eating, or intense exercise habits, rest can feel like failure or loss of control. Not working out every day can feel… unsafe.
That’s normal.
Cycle syncing invites you to build trust and safety in your body again. It asks:
Can I believe my body is on my side?
Can I trust that rest is productive?
Can I let go of being the same every day, and instead be deeply present to who I am this week?
When we stop asking, “How much can I get done?” and start asking, “How can I live in my body the best way?”—life gets a lot more spacious and a lot more joyful.
Your Next Step: Grab the Cycle Syncing Map
I know this is a lot of information, and it can feel overwhelming to remember which phase needs what. That’s why I created a printable Cycle Syncing Map you can stick on your fridge.
It’s:
Colorful and easy to skim
Based on research from Alisa Vitti, Dr. Gabrielle Lyon, and Dr. Jolene Brighten
Simple enough to actually use in real life
Imagine walking into your kitchen in the morning, glancing at it next to your kids’ artwork, and thinking:
“Okay, this is my phase. Here’s when to go big… and here’s when to throw on my ratty college hoodie and rest.”
👉 [Download the free Cycle Syncing Map here.]
Listen to the Full Episode
If you want to hear the full conversation, personal stories, and more nuance around movement, mindset, and perimenopause, listen to:
Go live in your body this week, and I’ll see you in the next phase. 💛
The Woo in Perimenopause: Why Energy Work Belongs in Midlife Conversations
If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the word energy, this one’s for you.
It’s Monday afternoon. You just got home from soccer practice, your kids are bickering in the next room, and the kitchen counter is covered in pipe cleaners and bills. You’re overstimulated, pulled in a million directions, and one more noise might make you snap.
Then your partner says, “Hey babe, why don’t you go upstairs and take 20 minutes? I’ll make dinner.”
You walk upstairs, close the door, draw the curtains, and finally—breathe.
That moment? That’s energy work.
Welcome to The Next Phase, where millennial moms in perimenopause stop fixing themselves and start listening to themselves.
From “Fine, Be Murky” to Feeling Your Energy Again
If you grew up in the ’90s, you probably remember that Friends scene where Phoebe waves her hands around Ross’s head and he deadpans, “Stop cleansing my aura. Fine, be murky.”
We laughed because back then, “woo” meant crystals, auras, and incense—definitely not something science-minded women took seriously.
I used to feel that way, too.
When I was a kid, my mom and aunt would do tarot cards at our kitchen table, and I’d beg to go to youth group instead. Later, I even moved to Fairfield, Iowa—the transcendental meditation capital of the U.S.—and avoided “those people” at all costs.
But motherhood? Motherhood knocked me on my ass.
How Motherhood Cracked Me Open to Energy Work
Sleep deprivation, hormonal chaos, identity shifts—I didn’t recognize myself. I started searching for a way back to me, and that’s when I discovered rituals: early-morning meditation, EFT tapping, journaling, movement.
For the first time in my life, I learned how to be in my body.
How not to take on everyone else’s emotions.
How to stay grounded in my own energy.
I call it “woo” because it lightens the mood, but honestly? It’s the most practical tool I’ve ever found for ADHD, anxiety, and motherhood overwhelm.
Why Perimenopause Feels So Different
Perimenopause is a beast when it comes to energy. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re irritable, overstimulated, or emotionally raw.
Here’s why:
Estrogen supports serotonin, dopamine, and GABA—our mood-balancing neurotransmitters. When it drops, we feel anxious and less resilient.
Progesterone calms the brain. When it declines, we feel wired and sensitive.
These shifts alter your HPA axis (stress response), making you more reactive to noise, people, and emotions.
So yes—you really are more sensitive right now. It’s not in your head.
Your nervous system is literally changing, which makes you more porous to everything around you: sounds, emotions, other people’s moods.
This is where science meets the woo. Your hormones are altering your energy field.
The Rise of Intuition in Midlife
Estrogen also enhances interoception—awareness of what’s happening inside your body.
You might suddenly know exactly when you’re ovulating, or feel gut instincts more clearly than ever. Combine that heightened internal awareness with decades of lived experience, and your intuition gets louder.
That’s not mystical—it’s biological and spiritual.
How to Work With Your Energy (Not Against It)
Millennial women are experts at pushing through—forcing focus, calm, productivity. But here’s what perimenopause teaches us:
The more you try to force your energy, the less control you have over it.
The real shift happens when you stop fixing and start listening.
Instead of pushing through a stressful afternoon, try pausing. Meditate for ten minutes. Journal what’s coming up. Light a candle. Pull a tarot card.
These simple practices don’t just “sound nice”—they literally regulate your nervous system.
A Few Easy Ways to Start
Meditate for 10 minutes a day.
Tap (EFT) when you feel activated or overstimulated.
Try a Soft Pants Reset—change into comfy clothes, dim the lights, breathe.
Keep crystals or objects that make you feel calm near your desk.
Free-write for five minutes each morning before anyone else wakes up.
None of it’s magic. It’s maintenance—for your nervous system, hormones, and spirit.
The Takeaway
Perimenopause isn’t just a physical change. It’s a mental, emotional, and energetic one.
Your body is asking you to slow down, listen, and reconnect.
That’s the real “woo.”
It’s not about linen dresses or chanting affirmations into crystals—it’s about embodiment.
🌿 Ready to Go Deeper?
This post is part of The Woo Series on The Next Phase Podcast.
In the coming weeks, we’ll dive into smudging, tarot, EFT, and manifestation—and how to use these tools to feel more grounded in midlife.
👉 Listen to the full episode here
👉 Join my email list to get new episodes and energy-reset rituals straight to your inbox.
How to Eat With Your Cycle: The Food Ritual That Changed My Energy in Perimenopause
Why eating the same thing every day might be working against your hormones
For about a decade, my diet looked like this: coffee and a protein smoothie for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and spoonfuls of nut butter or handfuls of cashews in between. Every. Single. Day.
If you’re nodding right now—because you’ve been living on some variation of the “healthy girl rotation”—you’re not alone. Every woman I know wants to feel better: more energy, fewer mood swings, less bloat. But most of us eat the same exact foods day after day and wonder why nothing changes.
Here’s the truth: our bodies don’t want the same thing every day. They’re cyclical.
And once I started matching what I ate to where I was in my cycle, everything shifted.
Your Body Has Seasons
I used to think I was just “bad at digestion.” My stomach always felt heavy and off, no matter how clean I ate. But what was really happening was a mismatch—my food wasn’t in sync with my hormones.
As women, our bodies move through four internal seasons every month.
Menstrual (Winter): low energy, craving warmth and comfort
Follicular (Spring): fresh starts, creativity, lighter foods
Ovulatory (Summer): high energy, cooling foods
Luteal (Autumn): slowing down, cozy nourishment
You wouldn’t wear flip-flops in winter, right? Then why do we keep giving our bodies cold smoothies when they’re begging for soup?
Why Digestion (and Temperature) Matter
Once I started paying attention to the temperature of my food, it was game-changing.
Our hormones literally change our body temperature and metabolism throughout the month. Estrogen tends to make us warmer, progesterone cooler. Ayurveda—an ancient science that got this right long before we did—calls it our internal fire.
So in the first half of your cycle, lighter and raw foods feel great. In the second half, when your body slows down and cools, warm and grounding meals help your digestion and energy flow again.
That small shift alone made me feel like my body finally exhaled.
The Four Phases of Food Syncing
🩸 Menstrual (Winter)
Your hormones and energy are at their lowest. Think cozy, mineral-rich meals—soups, stews, roasted veggies, slow-cooked meats. You’re rebuilding iron and nutrients here. Avoid cold smoothies and raw salads; they’re too harsh when digestion is slow.
✨ This is your weighted-blanket-made-of-food era.
🌱 Follicular (Spring)
Estrogen rises and your energy starts coming back. You want fresh, colorful, detox-supporting foods—cruciferous veggies, lean proteins, berries, and fermented foods like sauerkraut or kimchi (fridge versions only—if it’s on the shelf, it’s just vinegar).
✨ You’re basically the human version of a farmer’s market.
☀️ Ovulatory (Summer)
This is your glow-up phase. Estrogen and testosterone peak, digestion is strong, and you feel social and radiant. Focus on cooling, anti-inflammatory foods—leafy greens, cucumbers, berries, herbs like mint and cilantro.
✨ Think rooftop-brunch energy and salads that actually taste good.
🍂 Luteal (Autumn)
Progesterone takes over and cravings kick in. You need more calories, fiber, and magnesium to keep blood sugar stable. Sweet potatoes, brown rice, dark chocolate, and herbal teas are your best friends.
✨ This is your cozy-core era—soft pants, roasted veggies, cinnamon tea.
You Don’t Have to Overhaul Everything
Cycle syncing isn’t about rules—it’s about rhythm.
Start small: notice what you’re craving, how your digestion feels, how your energy shifts. Your body’s already giving you clues; this framework just helps you listen.
And remember: the goal isn’t perfection—it’s awareness.
Ready to Try It?
If this sparked something in you, you’ll love my Cycle Syncing Food Guide. It lays out exactly what to eat in each phase—with full food lists, a simple cheat sheet, and an easy breakfast idea for every phase (because mornings are hard enough).
👉 Download the free guide here and start eating in rhythm with your body today.
When you start eating with your cycle instead of against it, your body starts working for you again—energy, mood, and digestion all fall back into sync.
And honestly? It’s fun. It’s food. And we love food. 🍽️